Post Contest Happenings

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile. To be honest, it's a bit hard. My emotions are still scrambled about everything. I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'm so dramatic, my goodness.

I'm also up to my eyeballs in edits, so bear with me. To be honest, most of me editing is watching youtube, tv, and eating. Maddie sent me this the other day, and it's so perfect.

 First off, I'm really happy that I didn't win this contest the two previous times I entered, because I wasn't ready. Emotionally or mentally, and obviously my writing wasn't quite there yet either. I also have been able, to take a step back from my writing and look at it more objectively. I don't take critiques personally which was not the case a year ago. 

So this all happened at the perfect time. There is a post in here about God's timing that I should probably write. Another time, even though I am better than I've been with my writing. I still wasn't prepared for all that winning meant.

Anne was right when she said the journey was just beginning for us.
The first thing you receive after winning besides the confidence boost, praise, and a fabulous cover is a timeline.

Which was all amazing by the way and made me cry for practically a week. I'm lying, I'm still crying.

After the weekend we got our timeline. That wasn't too overwhelming, Anne included a really nice note and some encouragement. It was basically an overview of everything that was going to happen and when, up to the release. Along with a small list of things we could work on like author bio, dedication, and author picture.

These things weren't as easy to write as I thought. The author bio was the worst and I took awhile on it. Talking about yourself in third person is weird. I went back and forth on the dedication. I'm happy that everything is done in that regard.

We got a full month after that to basically relax and savor the win, before we were sent the edits. I'm  part of a group chat with the other winners. We all kind of freaked out when we got the edits. They are all super nice, its great to have a place to go to talk out about edits and stuff.

I had just seen Infinity War the night before, so my mental state was a mess I'll admit.

I was a bit freaked, when I first went through the edits, not because I was upset by them. I actually agree with most of them, but just at the sheer amount of work I have ahead of me. They send you a line edit, which wasn't bad and actually made me laugh a few times at how inconsistent my writing can be and some honestly funny comments made by the editors.
That's what I get for writing a majority of this story at night, covered in chip crumbs and lying on the floor. Just hold on to that mental image, because it still applies.

 I have eight big revisions that I need to work through. I'm not sure how many the other winners got, but I like to image that mine was the most extensive, mostly because I am a drama queen.

So far I've gotten through three of them. Well thanks to Anne, of course! She is one of the sweetest people by the way. You can tell that she really cares about our stories and us. She is always there with a boost of encouragement, brainstorming help, and puts me at ease about everything. All the while writing 5,000 words a day in her own book and I presume having a full day on top of that. She is fantastic and I'm in awe of her.

It's funny because none of the things I thought were going to be problematic were. I still have plenty to worry about though. I need to develop Snow more as a character, apparently I write better guy characters,who knew? The romance between Chayse and Snow needs work too, I guess me trying to come of as subtle turned out more like indifference. Which makes a lot of sense.

I have to tighten up my ending and possibly take out one of Chayse's abilities. All of this is way harder then it sounds.

I have gotten through one chapter and a good deal of the second one, so far. I have all the little edits done and just the bigger stuff that is tied to the revisions left. I also just started utilizing the 5,000 words. It's exciting! 

I am worried that I will procrastinate and not finish in time. Alas, I shall do it!

Funny things my parents have said to me in regards to all this.

"You can't be depressed, you won a contest!" -My Mom, rather incredulously. I might add.

I was moaning that I needed help.
"Mentally or Emotionally."- My Dad with the most deadpanned expression.


"I love it! Not just saying that because I'm biased, while maybe a little."- My Dad, about my writing.

I was gushing, because someone had said something nice about my story. "Well you're talented dummy."- My Mom, tough love is the only love my family understands.

I was freaking out that my romance failed. 
"You, of all people, have no business writing a romance. You hate love."- My Mom, she's right by the way.


Anyway hope you guys enjoyed that peek into the process. I almost didn't get a post out today. Been trying to write this for a week. I just can't seem to do anything.

Snow White Party

Something amazing happened this weekend, something I had given up on.

 I won 'The Five Poison Apples' contest!

 I am having the hardest time writing this post! I don't really know how to explain all the things I am feeling. I'm overwhelmed, I've been flooded with comments and congratulations! It all feels like a beautiful dream, that I'm going to wake up from. I'm hesitant to accept that my story made it! My friend Maddie's did too! I am so proud of her!

I have been trying to sort through all of my emotions. I wanted to write something to help the people who didn't make it. Because I've been there, believe me I've been there. Not just losing, but the rejection, the questioning. The constant thoughts that I'm not good enough and I should stop trying.  I've been writing for twelve years and it hasn't been an easy road.

Keep going, don't let anything stop you! Take everything in stride, critiques, rejection, and mistakes those things will shape you and help you grow. They will only make you stronger, don't let them break you. Put on the 'The Greatest Showman' Soundtrack and go conquer the world!

I promised to share my party pictures, so enjoy!

 I kept telling my parents that this was a pity party, because I figured we wouldn't win, so this was supposed to soften the blow. I had lost the previous contests and this was Elizabeth's first contest. I was hoping for an honorable mention.

Me crying when I found out I won... I'm not usually that emotional. Elizabeth gave me some beautiful fan art, her and her sister Isabelle did. I adore it!

I'm so happy Elizabeth was there, it made everything that much more exciting and fun.  She didn't win, but she was super happy for me, I don't know if I would had been able to do that if I was in her place.
 I'm so proud of her for entering and pouring her all into her story. It's fantastic. 

We laughed, cried, and talked for hours

It was a magical night! Thank you to all my amazing readers and friends! You guys believed in my story and kept me going. It means the world to me!

Anticipation and Obnoxious Fae Princes.

I wanted to have a good post planned for this week. Maybe some sketches of my characters, a few progress pictures of my ' The Greatest Showman' painting, a book review. Of course all that fell through, so another last minute slapdash post from me.

I've been busy, doing the last minute preparations for a 'Snow White' themed party I am planning for my friend, Elizabeth. We are going to find out if we lost or won 'The Five Poisoned Apples Contest' over fake champagne and candy apples.

It's been a nice distraction for me. Something to put all my nervous energy into. I can't wait to show you guys after it's done.

I was trying to be hopeful, hope is a good thing to have. It's a hard thing to keep a hold of. I'm convinced my story strayed too far from the source material. Or just wasn't what they were looking for. If that does end up being the case I want to be okay with that. I want to still be proud of my story.

It turned out better than I expected. I got amazing feedback, I got some helpful critiques, and another world that I can easily expanded. It wasn't a waste of time either way. I also got my boys! Two irritating fae princes who are polar opposites in every way. Chayse is a shape shifting cat fae, Cynfael is a rich, ego maniac. All of the late nights were worth it simply for them.

I've been writing Cynfael's story lately. I haven't gotten that far in it but I thought I  would share what I have. This is unedited, first draft stuff, go easy.


 Smoke filled the air, and my lungs. A slow poison I chose to indulge, among a few other vices. I blew it out, watching it fill the small space between my father and I. He waved a hand through it, irritation spreading across his face.

I kept smoking, making direct eye contact as I did, to show I cared as little about his comfort as he cared about mine. His eyes steeled. He said nothing, turning his attention instead to the moving landscape outside the car window. There wasn’t much to see, just shadow coated fields, and red light from the fire in the distance.

Chayse was burning his prison down. I envied him, the fact that he could simply burn away his mother’s entanglements, reducing an empire to ashes as if it had been built of paper. If only mine were as easy to burn. I could feel the necklace hidden away in my coat pocket. The blood coated pearls could buy my freedom. I couldn’t run, I would have to settle for retribution.

“She is dead then.” Father’s words were cold and calculating. Free from the slur he had, when he was playing the drunken fool. 

I nodded; the blazing fire was confirmation enough.

He poured himself some scotch, “That bodes well for our business.”

Which just meant more money in his overflowing coffers; I took a long drag, and flicked ash to the ground.

He stared at the ash.

“Whatever will you buy? A small country perhaps,” I crushed out my cigarette, “Oh wait…”

He took a slow sip of the amber liquid.  “Don’t be short-sighted; I’m not looking for more money for your mother and Isabelle to fetter away.” He looked at his cup, “I plan to fund a war.” He slid a round cube of ice into his cup.

I blew more smoke, “A war with whom?” This was the first I heard of it.

“If your Mother has her way, the bloody world,” A thick cough punctuated his words.