The Update No One Asked For

I'm in a weird head space right now. Trying to sort through my thoughts, or at least make them comprehensive has been really hard. All is well on the blogging front so far. The switch seems to have worked!

I guess I should update you guys on everything else. I actually did take a break these last couple months. Well on some things.

I finished my first batch of edits!

That was such an incredible feeling, they were more difficult than I thought they would be. I was not prepared for the emotional and mental effort that was required.

So after that was done, I celebrated by reading Caraval!  It was so goood and magical! I'm in love with Legend who hasn't really had an appearance yet. I'm weird... I think I'll write a review for it in the near future. It was nice to loose myself in someone else's story for awhile, and it was nice to have something to look forward to. I think I'm going to do that with every task I have to do now.

I also ordered myself some more books. Like I don't already have 300 on my shelf.

I've started The Screaming Staircase, I already need the rest of the books this series is fabulous.

I also read The Sherwood Ring and reread Cruel Beauty, reviews to come.

On to other life-related things

Rachel Kovaciny who I owe my Five Poisoned Apples win to. Is one of the nicest and most encouraging people I've met in a while. She helped me with my edits, gave me the push I needed to finish and even sent me these lovely postcards to give me inspiration from my story. You're awesome Rachel and I really appreciate all your help.

 
I've been doing lots of art. I did my first art commission, but I hated it so your not getting a picture.
I started painting my characters. There all going to be collages. I'm doing Chayse, Cynfael, Snow, and the Queen. It's a way to keep me invested in the story that doesn't involve writing.

First time using oil paints so go easy, and it's not even close to done.

I want to start doing character commissions for people, but I don't know if anyone is even interested in that. *shrug*

I've been watching so many shows, The Mentalist, Psych, Last Man Standing.... I could go on. I might do a post on The Mentalist when I finish it, I have emotions to share...

I've been listening to so much moody, indie music. Hello Billie Eilish, Matt Maeson, Kodaline.
Also NF is killing it, and Twenty One Pilots came back!

I started Driver's Ed, I know I'm 23. Driving has always given me huge anxiety, I am hoping to finally get my license for my 24th birthday.

I've been adulting a lot lately guys, be proud.

I've been planning book related things, like querying and sequels. I outlined Fool's Bet, which is something I never do. (My writing is horrible I know)

That's on hold for now, because I've started my second round of revisions on Falling Snow. I'm liking the new bits Anne wanted me to add. It's going to be even better.  Anne  has been so understanding through this whole process, I'm very protective of my baby. She calms all my fears and answers all my frantic emails. I appreciate her so much! I wouldn't want to work with anyone else.

So for anyone who has read it, there has been a lot of changes and additions. It might surprise you.

I'm a frantic ball of energy right now. With looming deadlines, and a to do list that is way too long.

Post Contest Happenings

I've been meaning to write about this for awhile. To be honest, it's a bit hard. My emotions are still scrambled about everything. I'm still trying to make sense of it. I'm so dramatic, my goodness.

I'm also up to my eyeballs in edits, so bear with me. To be honest, most of me editing is watching youtube, tv, and eating. Maddie sent me this the other day, and it's so perfect.

 First off, I'm really happy that I didn't win this contest the two previous times I entered, because I wasn't ready. Emotionally or mentally, and obviously my writing wasn't quite there yet either. I also have been able, to take a step back from my writing and look at it more objectively. I don't take critiques personally which was not the case a year ago. 

So this all happened at the perfect time. There is a post in here about God's timing that I should probably write. Another time, even though I am better than I've been with my writing. I still wasn't prepared for all that winning meant.

Anne was right when she said the journey was just beginning for us.
The first thing you receive after winning besides the confidence boost, praise, and a fabulous cover is a timeline.

Which was all amazing by the way and made me cry for practically a week. I'm lying, I'm still crying.

After the weekend we got our timeline. That wasn't too overwhelming, Anne included a really nice note and some encouragement. It was basically an overview of everything that was going to happen and when, up to the release. Along with a small list of things we could work on like author bio, dedication, and author picture.

These things weren't as easy to write as I thought. The author bio was the worst and I took awhile on it. Talking about yourself in third person is weird. I went back and forth on the dedication. I'm happy that everything is done in that regard.

We got a full month after that to basically relax and savor the win, before we were sent the edits. I'm  part of a group chat with the other winners. We all kind of freaked out when we got the edits. They are all super nice, its great to have a place to go to talk out about edits and stuff.

I had just seen Infinity War the night before, so my mental state was a mess I'll admit.

I was a bit freaked, when I first went through the edits, not because I was upset by them. I actually agree with most of them, but just at the sheer amount of work I have ahead of me. They send you a line edit, which wasn't bad and actually made me laugh a few times at how inconsistent my writing can be and some honestly funny comments made by the editors.
That's what I get for writing a majority of this story at night, covered in chip crumbs and lying on the floor. Just hold on to that mental image, because it still applies.

 I have eight big revisions that I need to work through. I'm not sure how many the other winners got, but I like to image that mine was the most extensive, mostly because I am a drama queen.

So far I've gotten through three of them. Well thanks to Anne, of course! She is one of the sweetest people by the way. You can tell that she really cares about our stories and us. She is always there with a boost of encouragement, brainstorming help, and puts me at ease about everything. All the while writing 5,000 words a day in her own book and I presume having a full day on top of that. She is fantastic and I'm in awe of her.

It's funny because none of the things I thought were going to be problematic were. I still have plenty to worry about though. I need to develop Snow more as a character, apparently I write better guy characters,who knew? The romance between Chayse and Snow needs work too, I guess me trying to come of as subtle turned out more like indifference. Which makes a lot of sense.

I have to tighten up my ending and possibly take out one of Chayse's abilities. All of this is way harder then it sounds.

I have gotten through one chapter and a good deal of the second one, so far. I have all the little edits done and just the bigger stuff that is tied to the revisions left. I also just started utilizing the 5,000 words. It's exciting! 

I am worried that I will procrastinate and not finish in time. Alas, I shall do it!

Funny things my parents have said to me in regards to all this.

"You can't be depressed, you won a contest!" -My Mom, rather incredulously. I might add.

I was moaning that I needed help.
"Mentally or Emotionally."- My Dad with the most deadpanned expression.


"I love it! Not just saying that because I'm biased, while maybe a little."- My Dad, about my writing.

I was gushing, because someone had said something nice about my story. "Well you're talented dummy."- My Mom, tough love is the only love my family understands.

I was freaking out that my romance failed. 
"You, of all people, have no business writing a romance. You hate love."- My Mom, she's right by the way.


Anyway hope you guys enjoyed that peek into the process. I almost didn't get a post out today. Been trying to write this for a week. I just can't seem to do anything.