The Update No One Asked For

I'm in a weird head space right now. Trying to sort through my thoughts, or at least make them comprehensive has been really hard. All is well on the blogging front so far. The switch seems to have worked!

I guess I should update you guys on everything else. I actually did take a break these last couple months. Well on some things.

I finished my first batch of edits!

That was such an incredible feeling, they were more difficult than I thought they would be. I was not prepared for the emotional and mental effort that was required.

So after that was done, I celebrated by reading Caraval!  It was so goood and magical! I'm in love with Legend who hasn't really had an appearance yet. I'm weird... I think I'll write a review for it in the near future. It was nice to loose myself in someone else's story for awhile, and it was nice to have something to look forward to. I think I'm going to do that with every task I have to do now.

I also ordered myself some more books. Like I don't already have 300 on my shelf.

I've started The Screaming Staircase, I already need the rest of the books this series is fabulous.

I also read The Sherwood Ring and reread Cruel Beauty, reviews to come.

On to other life-related things

Rachel Kovaciny who I owe my Five Poisoned Apples win to. Is one of the nicest and most encouraging people I've met in a while. She helped me with my edits, gave me the push I needed to finish and even sent me these lovely postcards to give me inspiration from my story. You're awesome Rachel and I really appreciate all your help.

 
I've been doing lots of art. I did my first art commission, but I hated it so your not getting a picture.
I started painting my characters. There all going to be collages. I'm doing Chayse, Cynfael, Snow, and the Queen. It's a way to keep me invested in the story that doesn't involve writing.

First time using oil paints so go easy, and it's not even close to done.

I want to start doing character commissions for people, but I don't know if anyone is even interested in that. *shrug*

I've been watching so many shows, The Mentalist, Psych, Last Man Standing.... I could go on. I might do a post on The Mentalist when I finish it, I have emotions to share...

I've been listening to so much moody, indie music. Hello Billie Eilish, Matt Maeson, Kodaline.
Also NF is killing it, and Twenty One Pilots came back!

I started Driver's Ed, I know I'm 23. Driving has always given me huge anxiety, I am hoping to finally get my license for my 24th birthday.

I've been adulting a lot lately guys, be proud.

I've been planning book related things, like querying and sequels. I outlined Fool's Bet, which is something I never do. (My writing is horrible I know)

That's on hold for now, because I've started my second round of revisions on Falling Snow. I'm liking the new bits Anne wanted me to add. It's going to be even better.  Anne  has been so understanding through this whole process, I'm very protective of my baby. She calms all my fears and answers all my frantic emails. I appreciate her so much! I wouldn't want to work with anyone else.

So for anyone who has read it, there has been a lot of changes and additions. It might surprise you.

I'm a frantic ball of energy right now. With looming deadlines, and a to do list that is way too long.

The Highlights

This New Years, I had my first taste of champagne. I wanted to try it mainly because it was a bit of a fixture in my Snow White retelling. So I thought it would be a fun way to celebrate finishing that.

It was a disappointment, it doesn't taste how it looks. Granted it was cheap champagne. It tasted a lot like how this year went. What started as light and full of promise left me with an acrid after taste.

Not that there weren't great things about this year, but it was a difficult one for me. Every time I thought I had worked through something, I found myself worse off then before. I did a lot of healing mentally, but then I end up reverting back to bad habits.

I don't want to focus on that, I much rather talk about all the good things that happened this year.

*cough* Reylo

I am obsessed, I already started a painting.

I will cover that in another post. Maybe one dedicated to movies and tv, because there was a slew of good movies this year.

 There was also  a lot of highlights this year.

1. Meeting Skinner from the X-files, (which I know I mentioned in another post.) I actually got to talk to him for close to an hour. It was awesome, also the new season is out today and I am freaking out.

2. Did Inktober, and actually succeeded!

3. I wrote a 20,000 word retelling for the Roogle Wood Press Contest!

4. I did a lot of art, like a lot...

5. I drank exorbitant amounts of tea and coffee

6. I went dairy and wheat free

7. Lost 10 pounds

8.  Finished a lot of things that I couldn't finish for years

9. Saw my prayers get answered

10. Had a lot of late nights with good friends

11.  Laughed until my stomach hurt, cried too.

12. Learned so many life lessons and then forgot them, because that's life.

13. Realized I am surrounded by amazing supportive people.

14. Got some supplements for my anxiety and depression

15. Ate a lot of amazing food

16.  Realized I have a best friend who truly knows me, and who will always be there for me.

17. Made decisions then changed my mind about said decisions.

All in all it was a full year, lots of ups and downs. I still have no idea what I am doing, and I am running away from responsibility like Peter Pan.

Faith, trust, and pixie dust, it works guys.





  

Healing and other Dilemas

I have been having a hard time doing real posts lately. By real, I mean something that isn't a tag or etc.

Things have been good, I've been good. I was worried for awhile that I wouldn't be able to say that without lying. I can say it now. I'm scared to jinx it, or that to admit it means I'm not allowed to have bad days anymore.

I'm still overwhelmed and drowning in half done projects, deadlines, and various other things.
I have been working hard at finishing at least some of the things.

Most pressing are the two contests I am entering.

The Roogle Wood Press one has hit a bit of a snag with me. I have established the world, the characters, and stakes. I have figured out my ending and the twist with the apple. I have gotten some mixed feedback, and now I'm not sure how to write it, I guess. While its cool to see different peoples reactions to different characters, I'm at a loss of what to correct. I will sort it out... eventually.

The other contest has a 5,000 word limit which is so few words. I'm not sure if I will be able to make anything cohesive. I'm going to try.

My friend and I decided we are going to sell our art at a trade show. I have never done something like it before, and I am super nervous. It's making me step up my productivity and art game. So it's already helping I guess.

I am drowning in unread books, beta reads, and books to review.

I like being busy though so it's a good thing I guess. I am also working towards my license again, hopefully it will work out this time.

That's what I'm running on these days hope, it's most likely misplaced. I feel like being optimistic lately.

I'm wearing a smile, and it's genuine. It's small things like that, that let me know I'm healing.

Everything is still a mess, but I'm feeling good.